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Worstell: THE MUSICAL

ACT I
Scene 1

After the opening, two people dressed in mideval garments are seen walking downstage. As the the light brightens on them, one can be made out as WORSTELL. He is throwing coins at a tree at the side of the road- the coins being FAUST's, the man next to him. WORSTELL is a bit embarrassed about taking the money but, does not stop (let this be his character note). FAUST is unaware of his surroundings. He may be blind but, we think he is just stupid (let this be his character note).

FAUST: (crossing stage right) Is this all there is left (gesturing at the coins). Where'd they all go?

WORSTELL: I threw them at a tree about a mile back.

FAUST: What'd you say?

WORSTELL: Why, are you deaf?

FAUST: Am I dead?

WORSTELL: Never mind, old man.

FAUST: What'd you say?

WORSTELL: I said NEVERMIND, you bloody fool.

FAUST: Oh. (standing on the opposite side of the stage) Where'd you go?

WORSTELL: I am right here, chap.

FAUST: WHAT?!?

WORSTELL: I said COME AND GET ME!

FAUST: Blimy. You are a fool, Worstell.... or am I Worstell?

WORSTELL: Look, a light.......

As he says this, a strange light comes down from above. It appears to have the insignia of GRAFIA POW MAN on it. FAUST touches it and instantly falls to his knees. WORSTELL runs off into the forest. Five seconds later, GRAFIA POW MAN appears and drags FAUST off into.....

Scene 2

The barricade. There are soldiers all around and FAUST doesn't know what to do. A man stands next to FAUST, this is JOHNNY MANTONI THE FIFTH AND A HALF. A shell explodes behind them and FAUST is shakin' in his booties.

JOHNNY: Hey, man. What up? Chucky says you're next on his list so you had better watch yo' back sucka.

Just then, MR. T enters from stage right.

MR. T: (to FAUST) Hey foo'! Yo' mother wants you home in an hour for dinner. You best respect yo mother......

(Music begins)
Mr. T back-up singers arrive.

MR. T FIVE (singers): Treat her right, treat your mother right. Treat her right, treat her right.

MR. T (singing): Mother, There is no other, Like Mother, So treat Her right. Mother, I always Love Her My Mother So treat Her right, treat Her right.
M is for the moan, and the miserable groan from the pain that She felt when I was born
O is for the oven with it's burnin' heat where She stood makin' sure I had something to eat
T is for the time that She stayed up at night and took my temperature when I wasn't feelin' right
H is for the hard earned money She spent to keep clothes on my back and try to pay da' rent
E is every wrinkle I put on Her face and every worry that I caused when I stayed out late
The last letter R is that She taught me Respect and for the room up in Heaven that I know She'll get
Mother, There is no other, Like Mother, So treat Her right. Mother, I always Love Her My Mother So treat Her right, treat Her right.

MR. T: She's a Queen Second to none Take care of Mother You only get one

MR. T FIVE (singers): Treat her right, treat your mother right. Treat her right, treat her right.

MR. T: Mother, There is no other, Like Mother, So treat Her right. Mother, I always Love Her My Mother So treat Her right, treat Her right.

Music ends.

MR. T: So you best be gettin' home foo'!

FAUST freaks out...... MR. T flies away. JOHNNY crosses to FAUST.

JOHNNY: Hey, man you'd better go home.

Fade to black

Scene 3

WORSTELL is in the woods still and comes out from hiding. He looks around and brushes himself off.

WORSTELL: I finaly got rid of that bloody bastard Faust. HAHAHA! (singing) I'm off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Crap.......

And he fades as he goes offstage.

Scene 4

FAUST's house. His mother is in the living room talking to FAUST's father (urn). The second FAUST walks in, his mother hits him over the head with a spatula. Then she takes out a baby bottle and throws him down on the ground feeding him. Detective Jakab suddenly breaks in.

JAKAB: Mr. and Mrs. Faust?

MRS. FAUST: Mr. Faust is dead. All that is left of him is this urn. Do you want to smell it?

JAKAB: Please.

MRS. FAUST holds the urn up to JAKAB's face and he takes in a lot of MR. FAUST.

MRS. FAUST: Do you like that?

JAKAB: Best ashes this side of the Mississippi. MMMMmmm!

MRS: Fausty baby, do you want some of dad?

FAUST: YES! YES!

MRS. gives FAUST some of his dad. He promptly inhales it.

FAUST: MMMMMmm! Dad is especially good today.

MRS. then brings out dinner, a big slab of meat.

MRS: Do you want some of your uncle Bill?

FAUST: We had uncle last night.

JAKAB: I would like some.

MRS hands JAKAB some meat.

JAKAB: Uncle Bill is especially good today but, that's not why I am here. I am here to tell Faust that he is in great danger. A week ago, an alien spaceship crashed in New Mexico. Hansel, Grettle, Bill, Fred, Grandma Borg, John Mantwan, Kristine Y and Torgo were found on board. Each of them had tattooed in their foreheads "WE WANT FAUST." They were all dead and, unfortunately, we no longer have proof that they ever existed because some locals had a bar b Q that weekend but, you must listen to me! You are in grave danger! Run for your life.....

(music begins)

JAKAB: (singing)

(add later)

Scene 5

WORSTELL is seen walking through the forest.

WORSTELL: Ha ha! I love being alone and not with that stupid Faust.

Scene 6

FAUST is seen walking through the forest, there is a weird glow coming from the grass behind him. He investigates and WORSTELL jumps out at him and slits FAUST's throat. FAUST falls down dead and WORSTELL begins to cry.

WORSTELL: WHY!?! HOW!? Wait a second...... YAY! FAUST IS DEAD! DING DONG THE FAUST IS DEAD! WHICH OLD FAUST? THE WICKED FAUST!


TO BE CONTINUED...

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